If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
he had hair everywhere except his balls
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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