Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
