you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
