so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
