He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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