why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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