This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
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