i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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