If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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