I like my sex mixed with concussions.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
