it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize