i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
