somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
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