Is it normal to miss your booty call?
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
