love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
