Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize