discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Randomize
