If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize