Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize