Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
