I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
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