you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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