YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
it's not cheating when I paid for it
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
