just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
