i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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