When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
