i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
