Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
