So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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