his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
