I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize