And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
