i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Randomize
