I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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