That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
now i know why i became what i already was.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
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