You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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