My nipple is on Facebook.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
vagina is talking i cant
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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