Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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