i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
my liver is dry heaving
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
