I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
