we have officially lost it.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
