Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
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