Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
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