I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
