I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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