I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
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