thus making me awesome and them whores
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
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