Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize