she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
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