with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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