Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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