I'm really into asian looking animals
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Randomize
