people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
