the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize