I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
you inspire me to be a worse person
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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