I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
i wish my penis had a tongue
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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