11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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